The birds have been singing an adorable twilight love song outside my window since about 0300. Which was totally welcome since I woke up at 0215 and haven’t been able to get back to sleep anyhow. I half want to wander outside to see what kind of bird it may be. In my mind it’s a puffed up little gray male hovering around the daffodils just outside my window. The only real color around, their bright yellow stands out against the dull grays and whites. Surely a proud little male song bird would want to own them as a throne. This image, in my mind makes me smile.
Jet lag is a bitch for me, as someone who struggles with sleep, I never did adjust in Africa. With the different amount of sunlight here I stand no chance. At least I have this lovely bird song to keep company with. Maybe he too just cannot sleep and knows not whatelse to do besides sing?
I arrived in Helsinki, exhausted, met by my friend whom I’ve known online for over a year. A 45 yr old photography enthusiast. I have a truly difficult time maintaining friendships. It is stressful, and often I find it more enjoyable to be alone. I am not needy, I can go 6 months without talking to someone I care greatly about. Most people mistake that for something that it is not. Much as they mistake my quiet for something it is not. It makes people uncomfortable, like maybe I am plotting away in my silence, thinking awful thoughts. No, that is not the case. I often just don’t have socially appropriate things to say, small talk flew the coop on my ass and I don’t keep up with movies, TV, or sports…. soooo it’s rare when I have anything worthwhile to add to everyday conversations.
Anyhow last evening, we all took a walk down to the the water. He lives basically on the Baltic, a beautiful bay area. It is serene. A quiet icey place that I imagine would not have the same peacefulness about it in the summer when the waves would lap on the shore. Right now it is just existing in a state of stillness, like the earth let out a sigh and warrent you must hold your breath for just a moment so you can be apart of it. Ah, lovely….. Truthfully, I detest all things cold, snow and ice. But this wasn’t midwestern US snow and ice of the plains that goes on forever. Or far worse yet the slushy wetness that spews from the eternally gray skies of the East coast US. Nope, this is land of pure pristine ice and snow, beautifully humid air, green mosses everywhere…how does an entire country keep their snow clean? Oh yes, not so many fucking people.
We have a long week of sightseeing ahead. I will even be crossing the water over to Estonia for a day! First thing on the agenda today is hopefully retrieving my luggage the airlines lost, and lots of coffee. I wonder if they drink tiny ones?